Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What's the biggest myth about illegal immigrants?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I can count

I understand how hurricane paths work

What's wrong with white women?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Ground beef sold at Whole Foods might be contaminated with E. coli, USDA warns - CNN

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Pride events face budget shortfalls as US corporations pull support ahead of summer festivities - AP News

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I can read

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Apple iPhone 17 Pro Max: The Best View Yet Of New Design Just Leaked - Forbes

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I see through liars

Judge denies Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs’ second request for mistrial, likens cross-examination to ‘Perry Mason moment’ - CNN

I have a reading level above third grade

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Is there anything you did that you regret? If so, what is it, and why?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

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I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for traitorism

How mentally ill are Republicans who think Trump is mentally sane? He literally said immigrants eat pets.

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Scientists Stunned by Evidence of Ancient Birds Nested in the Arctic - The Daily Galaxy

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why do all the stupid people think Donald J. Trump is stupid?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I actually pay taxes

What is your favourite summer outfit? Why?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy bullshit

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Is it appropriate for parents to discipline their child in public if the child is being rude, disrespectful, and unruly towards them? Why or why not?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”